Mini-review: “I Hit it First” – Ray J

The person who requested the Kardashian review also requested this music video.

What can I say about this video? It’s literally a guy bragging about sleeping with a hot girl before she became famous and moved on to bigger and better things. What’s interesting is that he doesn’t seem to realize exactly how insecure this makes him look. But, I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s do the play-by-play.

Literally the opening to this song is him saying the name of his label and him. While showing off his various vehicles. If you read the other review first, you’re aware that Ray J made a ton of money off of sleeping with Kim Kardashian and selling the tape of it, so this is a nice way to show off how well it worked out for him.

KimKardashianRayJ2

Then there’s the epic chorus:

She might move on to rappers and ballplayers
But we all know I hit it first
I hop in the club and boppers show love, and I don’t even put in work
I hit it, I hit it, I hit it, I hit it, I hit it, I hit it first
I hit it, I hit it, I hit it, I hit it, I hit it, I hit it first

KimKardashianIHitIt.gif

You ever hear that line from Game of Thrones “Any man who must say, “I am the King“, is no true king?” Yeah, this is that. We do know you hit it first, Ray J. The estimated number of people who have watched you have sex is approximately equal to the adult population of the US. And yet, just like in the video itself, Ray J has to make it all about how awesome he is… despite acknowledging that she’s moved on to better men.

I do have to pause to state that he probably is telling the truth that he doesn’t need to work to get laid anymore. He’s rich and is famous for nailing Kim Kardashian. I’m sure he actually doesn’t have to put in effort anymore.

KimKardashianIHitIt2
I’ve totally had sex since her. Really. Believe me.

I had her head going north and her ass going south
But now baby chose to go West
We deep in the building she know that I kill ’em
I know that I hit it the best

KimKardashianIHitIt3
Apparently he doesn’t believe that his listeners get what “West” could be.

Oh, look! Wordplay. ‘Cuz she’s married to Kanye West. Get it? He’s clever. Also, apparently, Ray J’s sexual dynamism is so great that he has no doubt that none of Kim’s subsequent lovers have surpassed him. What’s great about the line is that he says “I know” not “You know” or “We know.” Apparently, despite his epic love-making ability, Ray J isn’t sure that others will agree with him. Or he doesn’t believe their opinions matter. Either way, doesn’t reflect well.

I bet I hit it first, unless you took that girl virginity
First come, first served is all a player know
But I don’t wanna be a player no more
That’s a lie, I’m way too fly

So, he acknowledges that he did NOT in fact hit it “first.” He only hit it before Kanye West. Way to undermine your own premise, Ray J. Then, he has to say “I define winning as the only metric by which I win,” but tries to walk it back by saying “Oh, I could try to win in other ways…” until he apparently realizes immediate that he doesn’t want to.

She dome me up, she give me face like some whiskers
Tia’s and Tamera’s, I be knockin’ sisters

… I really can’t say anything about this. This is lyrical poetry. Who would have thought that such an amazing visual construct can be made about oral sex.

KimKardashianTwitches
If you thought I would go Sister, Sister, you were wrong.

And if you were to come back to me
Girl I know just how you’d do me
And if you were to come back to me
Girl I know just why you’d choose me
And if you were to come back to me
Girl, I’ll get it wet, jacuzzi
And if you were to come back to me girl
We’ll make another movie

And yet, here we come to the end of the song, where Ray J has just broken down into basically saying that he’s been fantasizing about what would happen if she, for some reason, broke down and came back to him.

KimKardashianIHitIt4
But he’s totally over her. Totally.

Ultimately, the fact that Ray J feels so insecure as to make this diss track would make me pity Ray J enormously, if he weren’t so easily detestable for both his narcissism and his inability to focus a camera on anyone for himself. Something that was a huge problem during his other filming venture.

Also, Ray J denies that this song was about Kim Kardashian in an interview. I can only assume this is to avoid some sort of legal issue, since HELL YES IT IS.

KimKardashianIHitIt5

Link to the Archives.

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