VelociPastor: Cancel the Oscars, the Winner is Here

There’s a movie about a Priest with dinosaur powers fighting ninjas and it’s everything that description would promise… and more.

SUMMARY

I’m sorry, did you need more than a PRIEST with DINOSAUR POWERS fighting NINJAS?

Look, here’s the trailer.

You’re welcome. You’re. Welcome.

For those of you who can’t watch it now, here’s the gist:

Doug Jones (Greg Cohan) is a Priest whose parents are killed by a car bomb. To deal with the hit to his faith, he heads to China, where he finds a relic that causes him to turn into a dinosaur when he’s really angry or hungry. After returning to America, he saves a hooker named Carol (Alyssa Kempinski), who convinces him to use his powers to kill evil people. It turns out that some of those people are ninjas. Also, Aurelio Voltaire is in it and I’m told that means something.

END SUMMARY

This…