I’m not kidding, this was a great movie.
Libby McClean (Romane Denis) is at her first day of work at Canadian Cotton Clothiers. The company founder, Harold Landsgrove (Stephen Bogaert), is present to promote the company’s new line of “Super Shapers,” jeans that are able to make any body type look good. Unfortunately, it turns out that these jeans are not just out to make asses appear amazing, they’re out for blood. Along with her coworker Shruti (Sehar Bhojani), Libby has to survive a pair of literally killer jeans and, perhaps more frighteningly, her overly-motivated boss, Craig (Brett Donahue).
It is extremely difficult to talk about the strengths of this movie without spoilers, but I don’t know that the ending really gets ruined by knowing it ahead of time. However, if you’re the kind of person who likes going into horror films blind, just know that this movie is definitely worth it. I never thought something about killer jeans could be good, but this film combines gore with great humor and biting satire. Also, unlike some other killer inanimate object movies (like Bed of the Dead or Killer Sofa), this movie doesn’t try to get too complicated with the plot and instead makes it an enjoyable ride that just happens to go a lot deeper than you probably expect.
This is the rare film where the twist is perfectly foreshadowed but also still hits you hard. It turns out that the jeans are possessed by the ghost of a 13-year-old girl from India named Keerat. Canadian Cotton Clothiers, despite being a company obsessed with provided an eco-friendly and fair-trade image, actually exploits sweatshops, child labor, and some questionable GMOs. Keerat fell into a thresher due to shoddy workplace precautions and the experimental cotton combined with her blood to allow her to possess the jeans made from it. It turns out that, in fact, that was not a small number of jeans and, yes, they appear to have known the jeans contained small girl parts and decided to sell them anyway. While the jeans being potentially possessed by a dead worker seemed pretty obvious, it really hits you when you find out it’s a young girl who was essentially forced into labor. It hurts even more when you recognize that these practices are often real. Heck, they’re probably true of the jeans you’re wearing while watching this movie. Or, more likely, the underwear and t-shirt.
While Libby tries to make the truth known so that CCC can be brought down and Keerat can rest at peace, in a last bit of satire, she is actually trampled by a mob of customers who are storming the store to buy the jeans. It’s a recognition that the real reason why these companies can get away with this kind of thing is that the customers will keep giving them money. The problem isn’t just the company, it’s the people. Then, the jeans go on a killing spree, which is probably also a metaphor.
I have to give writer-director Elza Kephart, and co-writer Patricia Gomez, a ton of credit on this movie. This is one of the best horror satires I’ve seen in a while and it manages to do it in a way that is not at all alienating to the people that just wanted to watch some jeans find fun and interesting ways to kill people. For the record, the fact that there are so many ways is one of the most impressive parts of the film. Most of the characters feel well-constructed, particularly for a horror film, and Romane Denis, Brett Donahue, and Sehar Bhojani were all amazing as the leads. I’ll add that this film has some of the most fun dialogue that you can have between murders.
Overall, it’s honestly a little weird that this is the start of my “B Movie Saturdays” lineup, because I would give this film an A any day of the week.
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