The Grouch’s Oscar Ballot

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Explanations

I DON’T OWE YOU PEOPLE ANYTHING.

Also, the Academy Awards are complete crap.

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Joker’s Oscar Ballot

 

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Explanations

Best Picture: Blackkklansman

Spike Lee has been snubbed too many times, so the Academy probably feel like they owe him, with the added bonus that it gives them the most direct way to show off their dislike of a current public figure. Also, it was a really well-done movie.

Best Director: Spike Lee

He’s literally never been nominated for this award before. He’s never had a nomination for Best Picture before. Meanwhile, they actually were against screenings of Do The Right Thing, because they were worried it would lead black people to riot. This was in 1989. Again, they are gonna feel like they owe him.

Best Actress: Olivia Colman

Look, I want it to be Glenn Close. I’ll be pretty happy if it’s Glenn Close. But Olivia Colman’s performance in The Favourite contains so many wonderful levels that you could spend hours dissecting it. She could have made Anne an ancillary character in the rivalry between two women, but no, she made her a focus.

Best Supporting Actress: Regina King

I think this is going to happen because the people who like the two nominees from The Favourite are going to split the ballot. That said, Regina King freaking nailed this performance, and she totally deserves the award.

Actor in a Leading Role: Christian Bale

I didn’t even like this movie that much, but damn, that’s a performance for the ages. Bale probably can’t mutilate his body with impunity for much longer, so this is a good chance to get an award for his particular brand of weigh shifting.

Best Supporting Actor: Richard E. Grant

If you haven’t seen Can You Ever Forgive Me, you’ll know that Richard E. Grant’s performance is one of the more amazing parts of a film that, for the most part, is fairly predictable. Yes, he has great dialogue, but his character could so easily have been much worse that it’s amazing how well he carries it.

Best Costume Design: The Ballad of Buster Scruggs

I know a lot of people probably think it’s going to be a period piece, but I think it was amazing how many costumes they put in this movie, and how varied and elaborate the costumes were. Liam Neeson’s coat alone took days to make.

Best Film Editing: The Favourite

Okay, all the people in Editing probably want it to be Blackkklansman because there was some pretty awesome tricks involving overlaying faces during shots, but if you’re a regular person, I think you vote for The Favourite. I’m a regular Joker, I pick that.

Best Sound Editing: A Quiet Place

Okay, this is one of the two Oscars where I’ll actually be pissed if I’m wrong. This movie was amazing and it was the completely perfect use of silence and sound that really makes it work.

Best Sound Mixing: A Star Is Born

This was, for me, one of the best parts of the film. If I can sit in a movie and go “wow, they really did a great job mixing this,” then that probably means at least a few other people did the same.

Best Documentary – Short Subject: Lifeboat

It’s a short film about refugees and it goes out of its way to humanize all of them, as well as the people who try to help them. It’s a great short film if you haven’t seen it.

Best Documentary – Feature Length: RBG

This category is bullsh*t as the best Documentary of last year was Won’t You Be My Neighbor and all other movies are lesser to that. But RBG was also a good movie.

Best Adapted Screenplay: Blackkklansman

This was an amazing true story that is amazingly well-adapted in this script. Some of the dialogue was among the best of last year.

Best Original Screenplay: Green Book

As I pointed out in my review, this is the only one that really generated controversy and I think that generally helps rather than hurts.

Original Score: Black Panther

 I think they’re going to give Black Panther something, and this was definitely one of the more stand-out parts of the film. It has an amazing score and it combines a lot of elements not seen in many films before it.

Best Animated Feature Film: Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse

This is the second award that I will actually be p*ssed off about if I’m wrong. This was the best animated movie and just flat-out one of the best movies I’ve ever seen. It’s a work of art with amazing dialogue and a great message.

Best Foreign Language Film: Roma

Like with Toy Story 3, I think the fact that this one was nominated for Best Picture means that it has a massive advantage. Also, this could win Best Picture and I would not be at all surprised, because this movie is a beautiful thematic tale with a lot of amazing shots.

Original Song: Shallow (A Star is Born)

This scene was the best scene in the movie, and the music video of it is hauntingly beautiful. It’s a great song, Bradley Cooper blew me away, and IT’S LADY FREAKING GAGA. Just accept that it’s amazing and let it make you happy.

Best Animated Short Film: Late Afternoon

This is basically a short-film about dementia that is told through some of the best animation transitions I’ve seen in a while. I almost picked Bao because everyone saw it since it was attached to a feature, but this film hit me so hard I can’t not pick it.

Best Production Design: Black Panther

Again, this was one of the best parts of the film, and had so much more thought put into it that I would ever have expected. It combined African Cultural History with Sci-fi perfectly.

Best Makeup and Hairstyling: Vice

This movie ages almost every character over several decades and does it so well it rarely looks like makeup and prosthetics.

Best Live-Action Short Film: Skin

First of all, why are all of the films about killing kids? Seriously, I think all of the shorts were about child-murder. Second, this was a short film about racism that kind of screws up the message. That seems like Oscar Bait to me.

Best Cinematography: Roma

Alfonso Cuaron is a freaking genius when it comes to cinematography and the fact that the film is in Black-and-white only makes this more obvious.

Best Visual Effects: Ready Player One

I actually don’t know that these were the best visual effects, but they were definitely the MOST visual effects.

If you want to check out some more by the Joker on the Sofa, check out the 100 Greatest TV Episodes of All TimeCollection of TV EpisodesCollection of Movie Reviews, or the Joker on the Sofa Reviews.

If you enjoy these, please, like, share, tell your friends, like the Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/JokerOnTheSofa/), follow on Twitter @JokerOnTheSofa, and just generally give me a little bump. I’m not getting paid, but I like to get feedback.

BlacKkKlansman: Some Anvils Need to be Dropped (Spoiler-Free)

By the Grouch on the Couch

SpoilerFree

Obvious fact: Spike Lee is not subtle about the state of America’s race relations. Whether you agree with him or don’t, the man has made his opinion on the treatment of black people within the US damn clear for about 30 years. Hell, he says people call him the “angry black filmmaker.” Ten minutes on Reddit will tell you that’s the nicer version of what some people call him. BlacKkKlansman will not change that, because he’s clearly still black and angry.

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I mean, not all the time. Nobody’s angry around Jordan Peele.

And the movie’s a strong case that he’s justified in being that way.

Now, add in the fact that he’s got a true story like this and Jordan Peele producing and you have a recipe for a film that’s gonna piss a lot of people off. However, they’re the people who deserve to be pissed off.

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Clayton Bigsby gave this movie a series of horrifying slurs, including “that’s my story!”

SYNOPSIS (SPOILER-FREE)

Ron Stallworth (John David Washington) is the first black police officer in Colorado Springs, Colorado. He’s first sent to infiltrate a speech by Black Activist and creator of the “Black Power” movement, Kwame Ture (Corey Hawkins), where he meets anti-police Black Student Union President Patrice Dumas (Laura Harrier), who he begins to date. At the same time, he answers an ad in the newspaper conducting a recruitment drive for the Ku Klux Klan, talking to the members over the phone. With Jewish Detective Flip Zimmerman (Adam Driver) as his surrogate for in-person meetings, Stallworth works his way into the organization, eventually striking up a fake friendship with David Duke (Topher Grace).

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It takes place in 1979, who did you think would be in it?

END SYNOPSIS

So, the movie definitely plays up the fact that a lot of the slogans which have resurfaced recently like “America First” and “Make America Great Again” were previously used by groups that were less than subtle about their racism and xenophobia. By that, I obviously mean the f*cking Klan. Granted “Make (insert country) Great Again,” and “(insert country/empire) First” could be derived from translations of a ton of cultural movements throughout history, but generally they were movements that were based on some form of intense discrimination. I’m sure there’s a cave painting somewhere that translates to “Eagle and Goat Tribe First.”

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Notice: All the same color. 

They also point out that the real success of the Klan was that it tried to suppress its more violent members, instead replacing the leadership with images of respectable-appearing people such as David Duke. Kudos to Topher Grace, his version of Duke is actually kind of charming. It’s believable that he could convince a group of violent racists that the real success of racism would come from making it more acceptable to the common people, by framing it under things like “crime statistics,” “red-lining,” or “drug use.” While many of the Klansmen are portrayed as completely insane or degenerate racists, it’s the ones that aren’t that are more intimidating, because they seem relatively reasonable when they’re talking, even trying to keep the others in check. The more insane ones at times seem almost cartoonishly over-the-top in their racist crusade, but, well, I’ve known people who are like that, so… can’t say it goes too far.

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Oh, and David Duke exists, so, clearly, these people are actually that crazy.

In a moment of balance, the movie also calls out some of the problems with the Black Power movement, by having some of the members completely reject Ron’s attempts to be a police officer as “being part of the problem,” despite the fact that he saves their lives and prevents the KKK from committing atrocities. Oh, and is a good police officer, something that everyone should support. But, of course, their criticism of him for being a police officer kind of pales in comparison to all the stuff that the Klan does.

One of the scenes that’s most interesting in the film is that they show a Klan initiation intercut with a telling (by Harry Belafonte, no less) of the 1916 Lynching of Jesse Washington, one of the most brutal acts of mob violence in US history. Jesse Washington, a black man, was found guilty of sexually assaulting and murdering a white woman, then was dragged outside, beaten, stabbed, dismembered, castrated, burned alive, and hung. A crowd of ~10,000 people watched, including the Mayor, Police Chief, and a professional photographer, making it a well-documented event. Even if he was guilty (which the physical evidence did suggest), HE WAS TORTURED AND BURNED TO DEATH PUBLICLY. There should never have been a time when that was okay, but the event was more condoned because of the recent release of Birth of a Nation (a movie that puts a nice, positive spin on white supremacy and the Klan). Like I said, it’s a solid scene, reminding us of exactly how much we try to erase from our nation’s history.

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A bunch of these people later said “we thought about stopping it.” Assholes.

The cinematography and soundtrack (with score by Terence Blanchard, who does many of Lee’s films) are amazing. The images of the cast looking directly into the audience are chilling, almost accusatory, and the effect is profound. The performances are all great, although special credit to Washington, who balances a lot of character traits within his portrayal.

Overall, it’s a solid film. It’s a little preachy, sometimes feeling like Lee’s dropping a moral anvil on your head, but, dammit, sometimes the anvil needs to be dropped. I recommend seeing it, but, *Spoiler alert* you do want to brace for the final shots of the film, because it moves from the movie to just news clips of the last 2 years, and… well, you will hear a f*cking pin drop from 3 theaters over as the credits start to roll.

If you want to check out some more by the Joker on the Sofa, check out the 100 Greatest TV Episodes of All Time or the Joker on the Sofa Reviews. If you want more from the Grouch on the Couch, maybe he’ll actually finish that piece he was supposed to publish 2 months ago.

If you enjoy these, please, like, share, tell your friends, like the Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/JokerOnTheSofa/), follow on Twitter @JokerOnTheSofa, and just generally give me a little bump. I’m not getting paid, but I like to get feedback.