Tag: CarousHell

CarousHELL 2: Judgment Day

This is the Terminator 2 of living-murderous-magical-carousel-unicorn-based horror films. 

I genuinely owe an apology to the creators of this film, as they asked me to review it when I first went on vacation. I thought I would review it for Halloween… of 2021. Since then I’ve been distracted by things. I’ve gotten a dog, gotten engaged, and beaten Stray. Those are not in order of importance. I’m not sure how much I’m “back” now, but I recently started to miss ranting into the void, so here we are. While the movie that actually made me sit down and write again was Black Adam (after writing most of a review of Everything Everywhere All At Once that consisted of “this was amazing” 500 times), I decided this would be the first one I publish. And just in time for you to find and rent it while drunk on Halloween! Or watch it on Tubi for free.

And the original, of course.

So, in the previous CarousHELL, we found out that a carousel unicorn named Duke (Steve Rimpici) was alive and sentient and, sadly for a group of teenagers, murderous as hell. Despite the fact that he doesn’t seem capable of moving any of his limbs or mouth while on-screen, Duke managed to massacre an entire party using everything from ninja stars to laser beams… and conceive a son (it was an awkward scene that we should probably not think long upon). In this film, we find out that Duke’s son, Robbie (B. Barnabei) is now an adolescent half-human half-carousel horse who is fundamentally a good kid.. Robbie has been raised by his adopted mom Ms. Laurence (Judy Casella), whose family Duke murdered. Duke now finds himself in the position of having to be a father, try not to murder too many people, and… what was the third thing? Oh, right, deal with the Nazis who created him coming back and trying to capture him and Robbie. Yes, in this film, Duke is now being hunted by Nazis, giving him a target that actually deserves the things he does.

The dead-eyed puppet is what happens when you make a half-animate life form.

I have to give it to the creators of this film, this is a swing for the fences. If you enjoyed a murderous unicorn massacring teens and just wanted more of the same, you are not going to find it here. Might I suggest rewatching the first film. Instead, the film decides to make our villain protagonist into mostly a straight protagonist by having him undergo character growth and have antagonists that are even worse than he is. When that happened in the sequel to Don’t Breathe, I hated it, but in a movie with a murderous carousel unicorn, you expect things to be a little less serious and it ends up working. While this movie does continue to play up the inherently ridiculous imagery that comes from an unmoving figure doing things like driving a car, the movie mostly doesn’t rely on it as much for the humor. Instead, a lot of the jokes come from either the complete incompetence of the Nazis (including a series of bad costumes that made me laugh out loud) or from Duke trying to avoid being outed as a murderer to his son. We do also get an extremely long homoerotic sex scene involving Duke which manages to be so awkward that you end up laughing at the ridiculous thing you’re subjecting your eyes to. When the kills come, they’re still creative and fun to watch, particularly because they’re happening to Nazis.

Okay, not EXCLUSIVELY Nazis.

Overall, this movie, like its predecessor, knows what it is. It’s a low-budget comedy where a lot of the humor comes from how much they’re trying to accomplish with a carousel horse and a puppet of its offspring. If you can appreciate movies like that, then this one will work for you.

If you want to check out some more by the Joker on the Sofa, check out the 100 Greatest TV Episodes of All Time, Collection of TV Episodes, Collection of Movie Reviews, or the Joker on the Sofa Reviews.

If you enjoy these, please, like, share, tell your friends, like the Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/JokerOnTheSofa/), follow on Twitter @JokerOnTheSofa, and just generally give me a little bump. I’m not getting paid, but I like to get feedback.

CarousHell: It’s a Murdering Unicorn and it’s Pretty Fun – Amazon Prime Review

I take a look at the craziest premise since Killer Sofa.

SUMMARY (Spoiler-Free)

Duke (Steve Rimpici) is a carousel unicorn who is sentient. Unfortunately, he is trapped on a carousel until one day Laurie (Se’ Marie) brings her gross little brother Lunchbox (Teague Shaw) to the park while she’s supposed to be babysitting. Lunchbox wipes his… probably everything, honestly, on the unicorn, finally convincing Duke to get off the carousel and seek bloody revenge. The only one who knows how to stop him is the park’s mascot Cowboy Cool (P.J. Gaynard). Unaware, Laurie and Lunchbox head to a party hosted by Sarah (Haley Madison) and Preston (Chris Proud), two local unicorn fans. The other guests include a host of stereotypes (and oddities) and they’re soon joined by Pizza Guy Joe (Director and Writer Steve Rudzinski). However, Duke soon shows up trying to get to Lunchbox and he’s willing to kill anyone who gets in his way… or in his vicinity. 

Behold, the face of evil.

END SUMMARY

If you guys remember my review of Killer Sofa, I genuinely found the movie enjoyable because it was so ridiculous to watch a sofa attempt to stalk and kill people like Michael Myers. This movie instead decides to make the joke of having a carousel unicorn, which cannot move, kill people like a combination of Jason Vorhees and the bad guy from Revenge of the Ninja. I’m not even kidding, he actually has shuriken and random weapons that he can somehow not only use but is extremely proficient with. Because of that, almost all of the kills in this movie are creative, graphic, and entertaining as hell. Duke monologues in a way that expresses a dispassion and dissatisfaction with his existence right from the beginning. He is having an existential crisis related to being considered an object while still being sentient which gives him an honestly kind of interesting backstory for the killer in a cheap horror movie. It’s not expanded on much beyond a few monologues, but it’s still more than many of these films give us.

Also, he kills a clown, so I think Duke might be the hero.

The human characters honestly seem to be every stereotype exaggerated beyond the point of absurdity. Preston is a Bro who is obsessed with that universe’s equivalent of My Little Pony, making him a literal brony. His girlfriend Sarah is so obsessed with unicorns that she is responsible for at least two of the more disturbing scenes in the film (yes, because she has sex with a carousel unicorn). Laurie isn’t just the slutty girl, she’s so slutty she’s willing to have sex in front of her little brother and is willing to make dozens of double entendres to the pizza guy. The French siblings, who are actually revealed to be Quebecois, are snooty and incestuous. Then there’s Joe, the Pizza Guy, who spends almost all of the film on his quest to get $42.35 plus tip (I think that was the number) for delivering pizzas. He completely misses or rejects any of Laurie’s attempts to seduce him in the name of completing his delivery and keeping his job. It’s actually pretty hilarious at times. Unfortunately, the scenes between the humans sometimes go on for a bit too long and you just start wondering why a movie about a killer unicorn isn’t getting to the killing already.

He’s the life of the party, but these guys don’t know he’s alive.

When it comes down to it, the biggest problem with this movie is that it sometimes is trying to be ironically so bad it’s good and succeeds and sometimes it’s trying to be legitimately funny, but much of the time it’s not quite pulling off either. I will say that almost every scene with Duke is amusing as hell, but the scenes with the humans in the movie sometimes go on for way too long. There are some great jokes peppered in, including another serial killer randomly being in Duke’s path, as well as most of Duke’s one-liners, but the characters needed just a little more polish before they got on screen. Then again, it’s a low-budget horror movie about a killer unicorn, so maybe I’m overthinking it. Either way, at 70 minutes, you aren’t losing too much if you give it a try. Just maybe grab a drink sometimes when the humans have been onscreen for more than 2 minutes straight. 

Unless it’s Cowboy Cool, because he’s the man.

Overall, if you’re a fan of low-budget goofy horror, this is right up your alley. If you’re sensitive to gore or gross-out humor, you might want to catch the next ride. 

If you want to check out some more by the Joker on the Sofa, check out the 100 Greatest TV Episodes of All Time, Collection of TV Episodes, Collection of Movie Reviews, or the Joker on the Sofa Reviews.

If you enjoy these, please, like, share, tell your friends, like the Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/JokerOnTheSofa/), follow on Twitter @JokerOnTheSofa, and just generally give me a little bump. I’m not getting paid, but I like to get feedback.