Rick and Mondays – S2 E3 “Auto Erotic Assimilation”

It’s Invasion of the Body Snatchers meets every sitcom where the main character runs into their “unhealthy ex” on this week’s episode.

SUMMARY

Rick (Justin Roiland), Summer (Spencer Grammer), and Morty (Roiland) are in space when they pick up a distress beacon. Rick follows it so he can loot the ship, but they find survivors who tell everyone that there is an entity taking over the minds of those it infects. They’re immediately infected themselves. Rick prepares to fight, but it’s revealed that the hive-mind entity is actually Unity (Christina Hendricks), his ex-girlfriend.

S2E3 - 1Unity
It’s weird to be hit on by 6 bodies at once… I imagine. 

They return to the planet that Unity has recently taken over. Summer immediately is put off by the nature of Unity’s expansion by enslaving people to her will, despite the fact that Unity has improved the quality of life massively. Morty and Summer go off to explore the planet while Rick proceeds to rekindle his relationship with Unity. When another hive-mind named Beta-Seven (Patton Oswalt) comes to trade with Unity, Rick mocks him until he leaves, at which point he and Unity use Beta-Seven’s supplies to make mind-altering drugs and alcohol.

S2E3 - 2Beta7.png
Notice that Beta-7 Prime is looking at Unity’s rack(s?).

Back on Earth, Jerry (Chris Parnell) discovers that Rick has a secret basement lab under the garage. He and Beth (Sarah Chalke) get into a fight over her being unable to stand up to Rick until they find a captive alien. The two of them begin fighting more and more about Rick’s behavior until the alien, revealed to be Blim Blam the Korblock (John “I’m the f*cking Cryptkeeper” Kassir), escapes and tells them that they are the “f*cking worst” even by the standards of him, a baby-eating alien murderer with Space AIDS. He tells them that their marriage is terrible because they hate themselves and each other and Rick has nothing to do with that. He then leaves the planet forever just because he hates them too much to stay.

S2E3 - 3BlimBlam.png
Also, he has penis-fingers. 

Back on the Unity Planet, Unity’s alcohol and drug use has reached the point where she’s not able to maintain her control over the population and several people start to gain their freedom back. Unfortunately, this immediately leads to a race war between the people of the planet over the shape of their nipples. Morty and Summer are rescued, barely, by Unity. When they rejoin Unity and Rick, Summer tells Rick to leave with them, because he’s a terrible influence on Unity. He refuses and sends them away, only for Unity to realize that he’s bad for her, even though she loves him, and leave him in a letter.

S2E3 - 4RaceWar.png
Morty has seen this play out before, apparently.

Rick returns home and is confronted by Beth over the basement lab, which he immediately apologizes for and concedes the point to Beth. He then tells her he’s not going to leave and tells the kids that he left Unity. Immediately afterwards, in one of the bleakest sequences in the show, Rick then goes to the lab and attempts to commit suicide. He survives by passing out slightly before the death ray fires. Later, he confronts Beta-Seven in order to see Unity again, but Beta-Seven stops him and Rick leaves.

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Rick, mid-suicide attempt. Yeah, this is not a happy show.

END SUMMARY

We actually learn quite a bit about Rick in this episode. First, we learn that he has actually had relationships other than his failed marriage to Beth’s mother. Well, one relationship, at least. Given how much Rick continually disdains marriage and the idea of love, it makes sense that he might seek out relationships which, by their nature, almost certainly can’t lead to marriage. As for love, Rick certainly doesn’t seem to actually care about Unity in any loving manner and he very much uses her love of him to manipulate her into doing what he wants. However, at the end of the episode, Rick’s reaction to Unity’s break-up and the accompanying note leads him to be so depressed that he cries and attempts to kill himself, suggesting that he either actually did have feelings for her, or at least realizes that she didn’t deserve to be treated the way that he treated her. Literally any of those reasons would be a revelation about Rick’s character.

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Look at that anguish.

Second, we learn that Rick really has a thing for redheads, is pansexual, and has daddy issues. Given that Beth is a blonde, Rick has blue-grey hair (and, since his 14-year-old clone did, too, apparently always has), Jerry has brown hair, and Jerry’s mother has blonde hair, this means that Summer’s red hair is likely a recessive trait inherited from her grandmother, Rick’s ex-wife. As such, Rick’s insane lust over redheads, telling Unity to get all of them naked in a stadium, could be a sign that he still has repressed feelings for his wife, or maybe that’s part of the reason he fell for her in the first place. Additionally, we get a sign that Rick has some father issues when he tells Unity that he wants to have sex with her in front of any man that even remotely resembles his father. We even, disturbingly, get to hear this later when the stadium chants “go, son, go!” The idea of Rick, who is borderline amoral and an admittedly terrible father, being the product of another terrible parent is believable, but sadly common and mundane. Still, this is a revelation about Rick.

S2E3 - 7Fathers.png
Apparently his dad had short hair, glasses, and dressed business semi-casually.

Unity is a reference to Invasion of the Body Snatchers and other such films where a single hive-mind takes over. The difference is, with Unity, the episode actually makes the case that individual will is overrated when compared to societal progress. Unity might not allow the people to act according to their own desires, but the planet improves massively under her rule. Part of that is that people, especially the ones on this planet, suck. The minute they’re free, rather than trying to fight Unity or rebuild, they immediately start a race war. It’s hard to go downhill from that. It reminds me a little of a line from Alan Moore’s Miracleman: “If you see a kid about to drink bleach, you take the bleach out of his hand. There’s no discussion of ‘free will’ about it.” That same line of thinking is used in that series to justify taking complete control of humanity, but the result is a utopia, much like with Unity.

S2E3 - 8Miracleman.jpg
Admittedly, both Utopias involve a lot of statues.

Jerry’s and Beth’s plotline is basically just a continuation of their constant marital strife. In this, though, Blim Blam says something that often get overlooked: Rick is just the catalyst, he is not the cause. Beth hates herself for not living up to her own image of success, Jerry hates himself for his weakness and insecurity, and both of them hate the other for constantly keeping them from fixing those problems. In Unity’s letter, she actually acknowledges that she’s okay with Rick being Rick, but that her being okay with it means that she has problems with herself that she needs to address. The difference is, by leaving, Unity figures out how to address her problem, because she can’t separate from Rick enough while he’s present to ever work on herself.

JOKER’S THEORY CORNER

Alright, so, there are a few theories about the creature that Rick kills before he tries to kill himself. Sadly, a few were destroyed by Ryan Ridley and Justin Roiland, who stated that the creature is in unstoppable pain and therefore was being freed by death and that was its purpose in the narrative. One theory said that it was a creature possessed by Unity that Rick had saved to always be close to her, but the eyes are the wrong color for someone possessed by Unity. Instead, I think that the creature, which seems to be a Cronenberg, was the last thing Rick saved from his previous universe and, not to be dark, I think it was a mutated baby.

S2E3 - 9Creature.png
I hate myself for this theory already.

Hear me out, we witness a lot of people dying in the process of everyone becoming Cronenbergs and Rick and Morty were on the planet for a while after the mutations started. I think that Rick found an abandoned mutant baby that was suffering due to all of the changes and froze it, not to try and give it comfort, but to have a test subject. See, if you’re amoral or have… alternate morality… as Rick does, then a baby is likely going to be the best test subject for any genetic treatment since their cells are still changing, there are fewer of them, the test subject is easier to transport, and the subject’s metabolism is higher. I believe that Rick took the baby with them and planned on using it as a test subject to cure the Cronenberg-ism in case he and Morty ever needed to find another dimension. That way, they could just go back to their regular dimension, cure everyone, and resume life as usual.

S2E3 - ACronenberg.png
Russia has yet to notice.

This means that Rick’s killing of the creature is akin to murder, but is also probably an act of mercy in his opinion, since the baby would just die if it was sent back to C-137. However, what it mostly indicates is that Rick has completely given up on ever going back and he wanted to grant it a quick death rather than allow it to thaw and die slowly or get discarded by the Smith family. He also wanted to test that the death ray worked, of course, but it makes sense that Rick would want to double check that his suicide method is effective. After all, what if he just crippled himself or removed his ability to drink alcohol? That’d just make his life harder.

S2E3 - BComfort.png
He even tries to comfort it. 

So, yeah, that’s Rick killing a baby he mutated through his own incompetence which he planned on experimenting on so that he could have another escape option available. It’s Rick, he’s a monster. This shouldn’t shock you.

LEAVING THE CORNER

Overall, this is one of the darkest episodes of Rick and Morty and also one of the most subversive in its message. Since those things are what the show calls “The Wheelhouse,” that also makes it one of the best.

Overall, I give this episode an

A

on the Rick and Morty scale.

Wubba-Lubba-Dub-Dub, I need a drink. See you in two weeks.

PREVIOUS – 13: Mortynight Run

NEXT – 15: Total Rickall

If you want to check out some more by the Joker on the Sofa, check out the 100 Greatest TV Episodes of All Time or the Joker on the Sofa Reviews

If you enjoy these, please, like, share, tell your friends, like the Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/JokerOnTheSofa/), follow on Twitter @JokerOnTheSofa, and just generally give me a little bump. I’m not getting paid, but I like to get feedback.

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Firefly Fridays – Episode 11: “Trash”

Hey, I don’t have to say anything about this episode’s airing order, because it didn’t ever air during the original run. Yay?

SUMMARY

FireflyEp11MalNaked
I considered making this all the images in this post. Really.

The episode opens with a naked Mal sitting on a rock in the desert saying “yeah, that went well.” It then flashes back to three days earlier where Mal is meeting up with a former comrade-in-arms and current smuggling buddy Monty (Franc Ross). Monty and Mal chat before Monty reveals he’s just gotten married and wants Mal to meet his wife, Bridget. When Bridget arrives, she and Mal immediately pull guns on each other, because she’s Mal’s ex-“wife” Saffron (Christina Hendricks) from “Our Mrs. Reynolds.” Monty separates the pair and Mal explains. Saffron denies Mal’s story, but accidentally (or not, she’s really clever) uses Mal’s full name, resulting in Monty abandoning her on the planet with Mal.

FireflyEp11Monty.jpg
HE SHAVED HIS BEARD FOR YOU, DEVIL WOMAN!!!

Saffron attempts to seduce Mal, but he rebuffs her. She begs him for a ride, saying that she’ll die if she’s left on the lifeless planet they’re on now. Mal seems less than concerned about that eventuality. Then, Saffron tells him she had a heist planned with Monty that is worth a lot of money and she’ll let Mal in on it. Mal pulls a gun on her as Serenity lands on the planet.

Back on the ship, Mal is taciturn, confusing the crew. Inara invites him to her shuttle, which makes him suspicious that she’s trying to manipulate him for some reason. It’s revealed that the conversation is based around the fact that Inara hasn’t had any clients in weeks because Mal keeps picking jobs on planets too poor to afford her. She asks Mal if there’s a reason, but he denies it, then says that he’ll find her a planet full of “Lonely Rich yet appropriately Hygienic” men. She tries to ask him about a middle ground, but Mal, having had a bad day, quickly tells her that he’ll stay out of her “whorin’” if she stays out of his “theivin’.” Inara points out that Mal’s recent jobs haven’t made any money, then accidentally calls him a petty thief. Mal tries to disagree, but the point has been made: Mal’s been small-time lately. Mal starts to say that he could get a big job immediately but stops short. He leaves and goes to a crate in the cargo bay. Inside is Saffron. Mal tells her he’s willing to listen to her about her heist.

FireflyEp11InaraAlone.jpg
It’s like a spider who knows how to unzip flies.

Mal and Saffron join the crew for dinner, where Saffron explains the job: steal an artifact called “The Lassiter” from a rich guy named Durran Haymer (Dwier Brown). The Lassiter is the first hand-held laser ever made and is basically priceless… except in the sense that people would pay a fortune for it. Saffron states that Haymer made his fortune off of making bio-weapons for the Alliance during the war, which allowed him to steal from rich neighborhoods by gassing them and taking their valuables. Saffron has Haymer’s schedule, security codes, and a layout of his compound, so it should be an easy job to walk in, grab the gun, and leave.

Wash asks Mal why Saffron is even on the ship, but Mal deflects. Jayne asks why Saffron doesn’t just do it herself, but Saffron admits that while she found a way IN to the compound, she hasn’t found a way out. Inara enters and tells Mal that Saffron cannot be trusted, but Mal rebuffs her. Zoe points out that Inara is right, but Mal says that he’ll be watching her the whole time. Zoe agrees to help, then punches Saffron in the face.

FireflyEp11Zoe.png
This smile is unique to people who are about to punch someone in the face.

Mal sends Jayne to tell Simon and River to stay hidden so that Saffron won’t figure out they have a bounty on their heads. River hints again that she knows Jayne betrayed them, this time by saying things with female pronouns so that they could apply to Saffron, but then saying “Jayne is a girl’s name.” After Jayne leaves, River says that he’s “afraid we’ll know.” Simon takes this seriously.

Inara tells Zoe she’s going to be off the ship while they’re on the heist planet, Bellerophon. She warns Zoe not to let Mal alone with Saffron. As the heist plays out, the scene flashes back and forth between the planning and the execution. Mal and Saffron go in through a backdoor, blending in with help hired for a party at the estate. The plan is that, after they get the Lassiter, they will dump the gun in the trash, which is automatically removed by drone. Kaylee will hijack the drone to bring the trash bin to the middle of the desert, where they will retrieve it. However, in the process of reprogramming it, Jayne gets electrocuted and knocked unconscious.

Mal and Saffron make their way to the gun, only for Haymer to walk in on them. Rather than being furious or suspicious, he’s thrilled to find out that his wife is back. Yolanda, as Saffron is known by Haymer, has apparently been missing for 6 years. The entire time, Haymer has been looking for her, clearly worried for her safety and still in love with her. Saffron concocts a story about having been sold into slavery, saying that Mal was a good Samaritan who gave her a ride back. After Haymer steps out, the pair finish the theft while Mal observes that this is the only husband Saffron has that she actually seems to care about. Saffron restates that Haymer is a monster, but Mal doesn’t seem to buy it.

FireflyEp11Hug.png
HE’S A HUG MONSTER.

He says that Haymer is her actual husband, leading her to pull a gun on him just as Haymer returns. Saffron tries to cover, but Mal quickly confesses. Saffron ends up aiming the gun at Haymer, upset at the fact that he now knows who she is. Mal draws his own hidden weapon, forcing her to drop her gun. She asks Haymer if he really thought she would stay with him in his private castle. He says he hoped, which she calls foolish. He says he pities her, which she mocks, until he reveals he called the police the moment he found them, saying “I love you, Yolanda, but I couldn’t think for a second that you actually came here for me.” On cue, the police approach the house. Saffron knocks Haymer out.

Mal and Saffron escape from the police, either using the security system to buy time or through brute force, until they make it back to the shuttle. On the ship, Mal and Saffron talk. Mal points out the Saffron could have stolen the Lassiter any time in the last 6 years but cared enough about Haymer not to until she had no choice. Saffron admits that she did try to make it work with Haymer, but ultimately couldn’t. Mal remarks that he’d seen her without clothing but had never seen her naked before. He tries to comfort her, only for her to pull his gun out of his holster. She forces him to strip, telling him she’s going to leave him in the desert.

Back on Serenity, it’s revealed that Saffron sabotaged the ship’s steering, meaning that they can’t make the rendezvous. Saffron abandons Mal in the middle of the desert, naked, before going to the drop site for the Lassiter. There, she digs through the trash dump until Inara ambushes her. Inara reveals that she and Mal had planned for Saffron’s betrayal, knowing that she would believe Inara’s anger at Mal would be genuine. She traps Saffron in the trash bin, then leaves.

FireflyEp11InaraGun.png

In Serenity’s infirmary, Jayne awakens to find out that he’s paralyzed from the neck down. Simon explains that he knocked out Jayne’s motor functions to keep Jayne from exacerbating the spinal damage from when he was knocked out. Jayne asks if his spine will be okay, but Simon doesn’t answer, instead asking how much he got for selling them out on Ariel. Jayne denies it and calls for help, but the only one nearby is River. Simon leans in and, in one of the most oddly badass moments in the series, tells Jayne that he will never, ever, harm Jayne. Simon says that he doesn’t know if Jayne’s going to betray them again, but Simon is going to trust him and Jayne should do the same. It’s an amazing moment that really drives home how unusual Simon is as a protagonist, having someone who betrayed him completely at his mercy and just forgiving him.

FireflyEp11SimonJayne

River, on the other hand, helpfully reminds Jayne that, if he tries it again, she could kill him with her brain. It’s never addressed as to whether or not she can actually do that, but since she kills a man with a pen in the R. Tam Sessions without blinking and kills a room full of Reavers without taking a hit in Serenity, it’s probably a moot point. If she can’t give Jayne an embolism, she could probably just rip his organs out in alphabetical order with a pair of scissors.

FireflyEp11MalNaked

Back in the desert, Mal repeats the opening scene, saying “that went well,” but it’s revealed that he’s talking to Inara. She questions if it really went well but Mal says that they got the loot, so it’s a win. Inara points out that her intervention was the failsafe, but Mal jokingly asks her how sad she’d be if she hadn’t gotten to play her part. Inara responds “heartbroken.” Mal walks back to the ship naked, acting as if nothing is out of the ordinary, evoking reactions from Kaylee, Zoe, and Wash. He ends up smiling at the desert as they take off.

FireflyEp11KayleeMal

END SUMMARY

It’s hard to say it, but this is a solidly bottom-tier episode for me. It’s still a pretty enjoyable hour of television, but it just isn’t as great as other hours of this show.

One big drawback is the Inara reveal. It just… it makes sense, but it also really doesn’t make sense. Based on the dialogue at the end, Inara had been in on the heist since before Mal took Saffron out of the crate, since they told the crew about it before they saw her. But, how exactly did that conversation play out? Inara calls him out for being a petty thief, and Mal goes “what a coincidence, I picked up Saffron and she might have a big heist that she’s definitely going to screw us on if it’s real. Want to bail me out if she manages to outfox all of us?” It just seems like there was no way for Inara to be so far ahead of the game based on the conversation they were having before the heist.

Another is that this is the third heist episode, but it’s not as fresh as “The Train Job” or as fun as “Ariel.” I mean, yes, they’re thieves, so there were going to be heists, but that means you need to lean harder into the other aspects of the show to keep it fresh, and this episode doesn’t really play to Firefly’s strengths. The dialogue is great, as is the acting, but this is judging Firefly in reference to itself, so those were pretty much gimmes from the beginning and don’t count for much.

FireflyEp11TrainJob.png
Not enough of the blend of Western and Sci-fi that we find in the others.

What really bothers me, though, is Saffron. In “Our Mrs. Reynolds,” Saffron has everything about her plan in place well before she’s onboard, down to her smallest actions designed to sow discord or create arousal. The only mistakes she makes are underestimating Wash’s love for Zoe and not being able to improvise perfectly when she runs into Inara, and her plan STILL goes off mostly without a hitch if Jayne can’t pull off a perfect series of shots while flying through space. She’s about 3 minutes from taking out the entire crew, even with the troubles.

But, in this episode, she screws up by calling Mal by his name right off the bat. Now, if this was part of her plan to get on Mal’s ship, that’s one thing, but it never feels like that. Instead, it comes off as Arsène Lupin tripping over his own feet. (If you didn’t get that reference 1: read the Lupin books by Maurice Leblanc, they’re amazing, I promise, and 2: think of it as Carmen Sandiego being blinded by her own hat and running into a wall). At that point, she’s almost abandoned in the desert to die because she’s left alone with a guy who she openly tried to murder. Then, despite supposedly having Haymer’s schedule, she picks a time he’s at home for the heist and, when busted, she doesn’t realize that Haymer’s not buying her cover, allowing him to call the police. She’s just nowhere near the amazing level of antagonist she was in her debut.

FireflyEp11SaffronGun
Which is why she relies more on guns in this episode.

Part of this is because they really wanted to go into her background, and the only way to really do that in this setup is to have them get caught. The revelation that she had an actual husband and dreams of normalcy is a lot to add to the character, and a great decision, but the episode kind of over-indulges in it by having Mal and Saffron have the same kind of talk about it two or three times. And, again, while it fleshes out the character, the WAY in which it is done reduces the amazing image of her as someone who is both independent and almost completely in control from “Our Mrs. Reynolds.”

Now, counter to all of this is the fact that Christina Hendricks’s portrayal of Saffron is still amazing and, even if they might make her a little less competent, she’s a great character who manages to almost succeed except for Inara’s intervention. So, overall, she’s still a plus to the episode.

FireflyEp11Threesome.jpg

The rather large portion of the episode dedicated to reprogramming the trash unit is intense, but it also takes longer than it probably should. The show has action in it, but the strength of Firefly has always been the characters, and we don’t get much of that from those scenes.

Simon’s scene with Jayne remains one of my favorite moments in the TV show, because it really brings home how powerful it is to forgive an enemy, but moreso when you have them completely at your mercy and tell them that you won’t hurt them. Since humanity has a tendency to turn towards revenge and selfishness first (as Jayne did), it was great to see someone go the other way. Simon proves he’s the bigger man.

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And River… is River

Also, just on a side note, this is one of the few episodes where the characters invoke the fact that they sometimes speak random Chinese. When Inara calls Mal petty, she corrects herself to 琐细, which Mal says is “Chinese for petty.” The Chinese language drops throughout the series have always been a great touch, since it points out that it’s not just America that survives into the future and it makes sense that the other major power (based on predictions from 2002) would be China, since it had the population and the manufacturing ability to migrate to space if pushed.

And, finally, I’m going to give credit for naming the planet Haymer lives on “Bellerophon.” In Greek Mythology, Bellerophon is the man who slays the Lycian Chimera, a monster which is three animals combined into one (Typically, a dragon/snake, a goat, and a lion). Saffron is a woman who is notable for being a combination of many different female characters she plays, leading to Mal referring to her as YoSaffBridge at one point just to drive it home. Haymer is the only man who ever got her to care about him. Just like Bellerophon, Haymer took the Chimera’s heart. Whether that was intentional or not, I still think it works as a reference.

FireflyEp11Bellerophon.png
Plus it looks like Bespin.

Overall, I just never liked this episode that much, but it’s still better than most of the stuff on television. I’d probably like it more if I really appreciated a naked Nathan Fillion, but, alas, I don’t.

FireflyEp11MalButt.png
Still, fair’s fair.

Update: Also, he was wearing a picture of Joss Whedon to cover his junk. Just figured people should know that.

Score: 1.5 Fireflies (or 1 Lassiter)

FireflyEp11Scale

See you next Friday, Browncoats.

PREVIOUS – 10: War Stories

NEXT – 12: The Message

If you want to check out some more by the Joker on the Sofa, check out the 100 Greatest TV Episodes of All Time or the Joker on the Sofa Reviews.

If you enjoy these, please, like, share, tell your friends, like the Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/JokerOnTheSofa/), follow on Twitter @JokerOnTheSofa, and just generally give me a little bump. I’m not getting paid, but I like to get feedback.

Firefly Fridays – Episode 6: “Our Mrs. Reynolds”

This was the third episode to air, following “Bushwhacked.” It didn’t have a ton of added-on material, it seems, and I will say the following: This might be the only good decision involved in the re-order. Putting this episode on earlier is a great idea. It’s lighter in tone, but still has a lot of great character work, it’s cast-centric, has one of, if not THE, best openings in the show, and has Christina Hendricks really nailing her guest role as Saffron. Great hook episode. Also, having it after “Safe” has one logical flaw that I’ll address at the end.

SUMMARY

FireflyEp6Opening

The episode starts with a covered wagon moving through a shallow river-bed. A group of bandits on horseback appear to ambush the wagon.

FireflyEp6FloralBonnetThe leader asks for the goods in the wagon, and then implies he’s going to rape the woman sitting at the front of the wagon. The man driving the wagon, revealed to be Jayne, advises against this, because his “wife” is a “powerful ugly creature.”

At this point, the wife is revealed to be Mal, who quickly banters with Jayne before addressing the bandit leader and telling him to surrender, because:

“…if your hand touches metal, I swear by my pretty floral bonnet, I will end you.”

FireflyEp6CrownHe touches metal, and Mal, Jayne, and Zoe quickly kill all of them. The locals throw a party to celebrate their liberation from the bandits, at which Mal and Inara flirt, Jayne gets drunk and is given a rain stick by the village elder, Zoe and Wash cuddle by a bonfire, and a local girl places a crown of flowers on Mal’s head before offering him wine. Mal is amused by this. I’m also amused because Mal wears both a floral bonnet and floral crown in the span of 5 minutes.

The next morning, the crew leave, and Mal finds a stowaway onboard in the cargo hold. When he asks who she is, the young woman, Saffron, responds “Mr. Reynolds, sir. I’m your wife.”

FireflyEp6Saffron1.jpg

Jayne and Zoe enter the cargo hold and are mildly amused by the situation. Mal, however, is panicked about this turn of events, which leads to him constantly denying that the marriage exists, to the apparent dismay of Saffron. Zoe invites the rest of the crew down to meet Saffron, to a variety of reactions. Simon, confused, congratulates him, Wash mocks him, Book asks to see a dictionary, Kaylee is excited and defensive of Saffron, and Inara just looks unhappy. Mal continues to deny that he’s married, causing Saffron to burst into tears.

FireflyEp6Saffron2Mal asks to return her to the planet they left, but Wash points out that the Alliance landed after they left, and that one of the bandits was a citizen, so they’re potentially wanted for murder if they go back. Book returns to inform Mal that, by the customs of the planet they were on, he is INDEED married. In fact, she was given to him as a form of payment for services rendered. When Mal asks about divorce in front of Saffron, he is yelled at by Kaylee and Inara before Saffron leaves.

FireflyEp6Saffron3
Sad-fron

Mal follows after her and talks with Saffron about what to do with her. She’s worried he’s going to kill her, but he assures her that he’s going to find her a job and a life on the next planet they land on. She seems disappointed, but he says that she’ll realize he’d be a terrible husband. Upon hearing they have five days, however, she seems to be determined to prove her worth. First, she runs off to cook him dinner.

At this point, Book meets Mal in a hallway and instructs him that divorce is difficult in her religion, but he will help. Book then tells Mal that if he takes sexual advantage of her, he’s “going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater.” Mal takes some offense to this statement, so Book agrees to set Saffron up with a separate room. Mal agrees. Book then pops his head back in to remind Mal:

FireflyEp6Book.jpg

THE SPECIAL HELL

FireflyEp6WashZoeMal goes to the dining room where Saffron has made him dinner. Wash and Zoe join him and Wash quickly manages to put his foot in his mouth concerning his wife making him dinner. Zoe begins to find the situation less humorous as he does so, until Mal finally leaves, which allows Wash to finish his dinner. Saffron, in a hilarious moment, asks Mal if she wants her to wash his feet. Mal merely walks off.

Mal goes to see Inara who isn’t exactly happy with him. Tempers quickly flare with them shooting barbs back and forth. Inara is clearly upset that Mal’s actions have hurt their relationships, while Mal is subtly trying to remind her that they don’t actually have a relationship and he doesn’t think he’s done anything wrong. He ends up getting kicked out by Inara and running into Jayne.

FireflyEp6Inara
When this face says “Great,” it ain’t.

FireflyEp6VeraJayne, in another hilarious moment, offers to trade Mal his best gun, Vera, for Saffron. Mal, of course, finds that idea repulsive. “She’s not to be bought, nor bartered, or borrowed, or lent. She’s a human woman doesn’t know a damn thing about the world and needs our protection.” Jayne, unhappy, accepts this.

Mal runs into Saffron, who comments that he’s a good man for resisting Jayne. She agrees to find a job at the next planet. We’re then shown two men planning to “net” Serenity if they come their way, but nothing else.

On the bridge, Zoe is now angry at Saffron’s presence on the ship. Wash tries to justify Saffron’s behavior by pointing out that she’s from a different culture, at which point Zoe becomes angry that Wash is defending her. She heads to bed, leaving Wash alone. Mal returns to his bunk, only to find Saffron naked in his bed.

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She tries to seduce him, but Mal resists at first. She stands up naked in front of him, and Mal says that it’s not that she isn’t pleasing to him, he just thinks it’s immoral. She proceeds to read the Bible:

On the night of their betrothal the wife shall open to the man as the furrow to the plow. He shall work in her again and again, ‘til she bring him to his full. And rest him then upon the sweat of her breast. – Iplayah 6:9

Mal can only respond, stunned “Whoa. Good Bible.”

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Bone not, Lest ye be Boned

She attempts to seduce him again, but he resists, saying that he can’t consider them married as payment for a debt. Not that he isn’t tempted, because it’s been “a long damn while since anybody buy me took ahold of my plow.” She persists, saying:

“If I’m wed, I am a woman, and I’ll take your to leave to be bold. I want this. I swell to think of you in me. And I see that you do, too.”

And yes, that line comes with the obligatory crotch glance.

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I don’t know why Mal has to look.

She tells him that she will absolutely get off on the next planet, but just begs him to give her one night. He says “Oh, I’m gonna go to the special hell,” and kisses her, before regaining his senses and starting to tell her that he can’t… right before he realizes he’s been drugged and collapses.

FireflyEp6KissSaffron joins Wash on the bridge and tries to seduce him, but he never really considers it, leading her to kick him unconscious. Saffron drags him out, seals the bridge door, and heads for the spare shuttle. She runs into Inara, who eventually realizes that Saffron is trying to manipulate her, but Saffron attacks her, gets into the shuttle, and takes off. Inara runs to check on Mal, finds him alive, and kisses him from relief. She calls for Simon, then realizes that she’s also been drugged, and passes out.

Mal awakens to find out that Saffron has disabled steering, navigation, and communication, in addition to sealing the bridge. They manage to make it inside the bridge, but still cannot steer, and then learn that they’re headed for an electromagnetic net that a chop shop runs. When they hit the net, everything in the ship gets electrocuted. They manage to destroy the net from outside of the ship using Jayne’s gun “Vera,” as well as kill the chop shoppers. Kaylee manages to fix the ship’s steering.

FireflyEp6MalInara.jpgMal tracks down Saffron and attacks her in her room, but ends up sparing her life. Mal then confronts Inara, who claimed earlier that she had “tripped” rather than admit she kissed Mal. Mal makes her admit that she didn’t trip, but instead of realizing the truth, assumes that she also kissed Saffron, leading Mal to walk away smiling with Inara looking stunned.

END SUMMARY

I love almost everything in this episode. The dialogue has almost no weak points. Mal’s personality and values are explored. Saffron is an amazing character to have in the episode. Inara and Mal’s relationship is deepened. Zoe and Wash’s relationship is… not really tested, but I bet Wash is getting the good sex that night for not even really considering sleeping with Saffron. Book and Mal have one of the funniest sequences in the show. It starts off with a shootout in a covered wagon, and most of the episode is in a spaceship. Pretty much as space-western as it gets.

FireflyEp6Saffron6.jpgSaffron’s character is perfect for the setting of Firefly. She uses the rural and odd nature of the colonies of the Outer Rim to bind herself to Mal, who she knows won’t hurt her. She quickly ingratiates herself to some of the crew, while sewing discord amongst the others. She does it all so perfectly and so naturally that, until Wash refuses her, everything she does really seems to be going to plan without anyone suspecting that she even HAS a plan. She’s just that good with reading people and playing her character. And, full credit to Christina Hendricks, she does slightly alter her behavior when around the other characters to really sell that she’s conning all of them in subtly different ways. Best of all, this is to basically set up an ambush in the middle of space. Or… the left of space. The down? Space is weird.

FireflyEp6NetWhen the plan does start to break down, first with Wash, then by running into Inara and being rushed to cover for herself, Saffron is still competent and efficient. She gets into the shuttle and leaves immediately, abandoning the crew to their fate. Given that the chop-shoppers say that she “gets it done,” this appears to just be her standard operating procedure. One can only imagine how many people she’s left to die in ships headed for the net.

Mal’s character in this episode is pretty great, too. When he finds out that he’s married, his first instinct was to be horrified and insist that he wasn’t, because Mal actually cares about marriage and other such pledges of loyalty, so he doesn’t want to do one lightly. Everyone else just seems amused by Mal’s carelessness in letting it happen, or thinks Mal is being overly cruel to Saffron, with the exception of Inara, who is just upset with Mal. When he is finally confronted by a very seductive, and very naked, Saffron using the full extent of her implied companion training, he still manages to hold on to his principles, even after he wavers long enough to kiss her. It’s a hell of a moment.

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He resisted this after years of not having sex. He deserves a medal.

It’s really hard to single any part of this episode out because the entire thing is pretty great. This was the second episode I saw originally, and it was the reason why I said “this show could be amazing.”

FireflyEp6RiverThe only weakness in the episode is that they had to keep River out of it, for the most part. As aired, she has no lines in the episode. In the intended order, this is kind of a necessity, since we just had an episode that made it explicit that she can read minds. In the actual airing order, since we didn’t really have as much understanding of River’s abilities, it doesn’t raise as many questions.

Of course, it turns out that there actually WAS a scene filmed with River speaking in the episode, it just got cut for time. That scene was actually pretty funny, since it involves River trying to convince Simon to marry him so that they’ll always be together. During that sequence, when Mal and Saffron come in, River calls her a thief, but Saffron admits she took some food. Saffron says she didn’t realize she was seen, and River says “I didn’t see you.” Then, they move on, dismissing River, who now tells Simon they have to get married. She shoves a pillow under her shirt and says “I’m in the family way.” It’s a great scene and at least addresses the issue. Oh, hey, I found it online:

Since River gets a huge part of another episode focused on a guest character, I’m willing to overlook the lack of her in this one. It’s not the best episode of the show, objectively, but it’s one of the best for people who like the show. It’s got western elements, plenty of space elements, great performances, great dialogue, and humor out the wazoo. Great episode all around.

Serenity Scale: 5 Fireflies (Or 1 Night with Saffron)

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See you next Friday, Browncoats.

PREVIOUS – 5: Safe

NEXT – 7: Jaynestown

If you want to check out some more by the Joker on the Sofa, check out the 100 Greatest TV Episodes of All Time or the Joker on the Sofa Reviews.

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