Netflix Review – Green Eggs and Ham: Wait, How Does This Exist and Why Is It GOOD?

I don’t know what to say except that somehow this show is actually pretty good. 

SUMMARY

Animal rescuer Sam-I-Am (Adam DeVine) steals a priceless Chickeraffe (half-chicken, half-giraffe, all Seuss). However, while at a diner, his bag gets mixed up with failed inventor Guy-Am-I (Michael “Yes, that Michael Douglas” Douglas). From there, the two get mixed up in wacky adventures trying to return the Chickeraffe while pursued by BADGUY agents McWinkle (Jeffrey Wright) and Gluntz (Jillian Bell). Along the way there’s a billionaire with fake hair (Eddie Izzard), an overprotective mom, Michellee (Diane “Yes, the one from Annie Hall” Keaton) and her wild daughter, E.B. (Ilana Glazer), a Goat (John Turturro), a Fox (Tracy Morgan), and a Mouse (Daveed Diggs), all under the Narrator’s (Keegan-Michael Key) watchful gaze.

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No pants anywhere. Very Seuss.

END SUMMARY

There’s a show of Green Eggs and Ham. Let me write that again: There is a show, a television show featuring 13 half-hour episodes, based on a book that famously only has 50 words in it. In the most recent season of BoJack Horseman there’s a gag about a TV show being made based on a “Happy Birthday, Love Dad” greeting card and apparently it’s well received. That was supposed to be a commentary on the fact that we’ve adapted all the books and Hollywood has had to move on to cards. This show is apparently presented completely unironically on the same streaming service and… well, it’s impressively good. 

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It’s cause for celebration, I guess.

Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t going to be heralded as a revolution in animation, but I genuinely enjoyed watching it. The main characters have a surprising amount of depth, the world that it takes place in is probably the most Seuss-ian of any that’s been put on screen (and yes, I’m including the animated How the Grinch Stole Christmas), and the show actually ties into the original story of Green Eggs and Ham. Each of the episodes is focused on one of the things that Sam-I-Am tries to pitch in the book (“Fox,” “Train,” “Box,” “Rain,” etc.) and in each one of them he pitches eating Green Eggs and Ham to Guy-Am-I based on that particular thing, just like in the book. That’s actually an example of what this show nails: It manages to be true to the spirit of the original book while also expanding and explaining it. 

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And the added characters are amazing.

The theme of the original story of Green Eggs and Ham was that you should not be afraid to try new things, however, the persistence with which Sam-I-Am tried to pitch the foodstuffs to the character now called Guy-Am-I led to the story being accused of telling kids never to take no for an answer. Naturally, not obeying someone’s wishes about not wanting to do something is not a great lesson. The show manages to subtly change this. Rather than not accepting Guy-Am-I’s wishes, each time Sam accepts the rejection, then brings up the eggs in a different context in the next episode, but always allowing Guy an out. It makes the message clear that you can respect someone’s wishes and still try to convince them to step out of their comfort zone once in a while. It’s a tough balance, but I think they pulled it off.

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Super hard to stay mad at him.

The show’s writing is unbelievably creative, somehow managing to have the slapstick and inane feel of Dr. Seuss while also being clever and, at times, genuinely touching. There are some very sad and pensive moments in this show, something that you would never expect from a show involving green eggs and ham. In fact, the reveal of exactly what the food represents is an unbelievably touching moment. Still, the humor, particularly the commentary by Key as the Narrator, is pretty funny and works on a similar multi-generational level to things like The Muppet Show, encouraging parents to watch it with their kids. 

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I somehow laughed at “We’re the BADGUYS!!!”

Honestly, though, this show almost single-handedly restores my faith in human creativity, because even if we are, in fact, reduced to the point of claiming to be inspired by greeting cards in order to get a show greenlit, someone can still add and adapt it enough to make it work as a solid narrative. I recommend this to anyone with kids, and anyone who is a kid at heart.

If you want to check out some more by the Joker on the Sofa, check out the 100 Greatest TV Episodes of All TimeCollection of TV EpisodesCollection of Movie Reviews, or the Joker on the Sofa Reviews.

If you enjoy these, please, like, share, tell your friends, like the Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/JokerOnTheSofa/), follow on Twitter @JokerOnTheSofa, and just generally give me a little bump. I’m not getting paid, but I like to get feedback.

Netflix Review – Dolemite is My Name: The Making of a Masterpiece

Eddie Murphy, Da’Vine Joy Randolph, Wesley Snipes, Keegan-Michael Key, and a host of others star in a story about the making of an amazing film.

SUMMARY (Spoiler-Free)

It’s the 1970s and singer/comedian Rudy Ray Moore (Eddie Murphy) is not having the career renaissance he’d been hoping for. However, after a homeless man named Ricco (Ron Cephas Jones) comes into the record store at which he works, Moore is inspired by the man’s ridiculous stories about a man named Dolemite. Moore adopts the name and turns it into a character with which he delivers a vulgar profanity-laden comedy routine. He manages to make a series of albums out of the character and goes on tour, achieving cult status. However, he eventually decides to make a film out of the character and, together with his partner Lady Reed (Da’Vine Joy Randolph), writer Jerry Jones (Keegan-Michael Key), and Actor/Director D’Urville Martin (Wesley Snipes), he makes the amazing movie Dolemite.

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Dolemite is his name, and f*cking motherf*ckers up is his game.

END SUMMARY

So, if you haven’t seen Dolemite, you should. I don’t care who you are. I don’t care what kind of movies your into. If you haven’t seen Dolemite, you need to go ahead and enrich your life. It’s on Amazon Prime right now. Then, you need to go ahead and watch the sequel, The Human Tornado, in order to see the infamous sex scene in which Dolemite’s manhood literally destroys a house. But first thing’s first: You need to watch this movie. 

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Yes, it takes place in the 70s, why do you ask?

Dolemite is a rare kind of a so-bad-its-good movie, but it’s not in the class of a film like The Room or Troll 2. You can watch Dolemite and get a perfect mix of legitimate and ironic enjoyment, because the movie is supposed to be a comedy that is shot like an action film. If you’re laughing, whether you’re laughing at it or with it, it’s working. It’s hard to tell where the film was failing at being legitimate or was succeeding in being a parody. This film seems to suggest it was a blend of lack of ability and a huge amount of talent.

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This is the original, and he calls someone a “Rat-soup eating motherf*cker.” It’s awesome.

Much like The Disaster Artist, this movie contains a lot of scenes that explain how certain things came into the film. While I don’t think that Eddie Murphy’s portrayal of Rudy Ray Moore is as spot-on as James Franco’s portrayal of Tommy Wiseau, Murphy manages to absolutely nail the timing of the comedy routines. Given that Murphy apparently did this because he and his late brother Charlie Murphy used to love listening to Moore’s albums, I’m guessing it’s because he had heard them all during his formative years. As a world-class comedian himself, it’s natural that he’d be able to figure out how all of the ridiculous inflections enhance the Dolemite character and make it his own. His version of Dolemite isn’t exactly Moore’s, but it’s damned good.

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Yeah, it’s pretty damned good. 

This movie is a true story of someone managing to get their big break at the risk of losing everything, and that’s really something that audiences love. What’s interesting is that this isn’t portrayed as being an endeavour by a comedian who is looking for the pure art of it. No, from the first part of the movie this is just the story of Moore’s attempt to become rich and famous. The honesty is somewhat refreshing, because a lot of movies try to portray famous people solely as passionate virtuosos sustained by their creative juices. In reality, even great artists usually sell out at some point, because… well, people gotta eat, man. Plus, if you believe in your art, you want fame, because that means people are actually seeing it. Does it sometimes ruin the “purity” of the art? Maybe if it causes the artist to compromise their vision, but most of the time even great art is done for the money. 

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How much art is in a movie with an all-girl army of Kung Fu Killers?… ALL OF THE ART!!

I really did enjoy the hell out of this movie. I’m not sure how accurate it is, and since they include a scene from the sequel in the film I am guessing “not very,” but I know that it tells a heck of a story. 

If you want to check out some more by the Joker on the Sofa, check out the 100 Greatest TV Episodes of All TimeCollection of TV EpisodesCollection of Movie Reviews, or the Joker on the Sofa Reviews.

If you enjoy these, please, like, share, tell your friends, like the Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/JokerOnTheSofa/), follow on Twitter @JokerOnTheSofa, and just generally give me a little bump. I’m not getting paid, but I like to get feedback.

Rick and Mondays – S2 E1 “A Rickle in Time”

Rick and Morty is back for a second season that they probably didn’t think they were gonna get. AND WE ARE SO LUCKY FOR IT.

SUMMARY

Rick (Justin Roiland), Morty (Roiland), and Summer (Spencer Grammer) have been taking advantage of time being frozen for the last six months and are finally cleaning everything up from the epic party at the end of last season. Rick unfreezes time, but reveals that their time is “unstable,” so they can’t interact with Beth and Jerry (Sarah Chalke and Chris Parnell). Rick sends the parents to Cold Stone for ice cream so as to avoid any issues.

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How power and water work while time is frozen, I don’t know.

Summer and Morty start fighting over who Rick will treat as his new sidekick, which results in them being uncertain about their actions, splitting the universe into two separate timelines and sending the trio (or sextet, now) off of the traditional time-axis and putting them in a void dimension surrounded (and not surrounded) by Schrödinger’s cats. Rick tries to use a Time Crystal to fuse the timelines back together and re-enter the timestream, but it doesn’t work because Summer and Morty aren’t completely synchronized. Both Ricks become paranoid that the other Rick is trying to kill them to eliminate one timeline and each tries to kill the other, but this results in Rick becoming uncertain and splitting the timelines yet again, creating four simultaneous timelines. Morty knocks Rick unconscious.

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I hope neither of them hit one of Schrodinger’s cats.

Beth and Jerry hit a deer on the way home from ice cream. Jerry accidentally implies that Beth, a horse surgeon, can’t heal the deer, leading her to burst into a veterinary OR and take over. However, they discover that the animal was already wounded by a hunter, who shows up with his attorney claiming that he is legally entitled to the deer as the first person who injured it, based on “Brad’s Law.” The hunter is not stated to be Brad, but he looks like a Brad, and he admits that he’s not a very good hunter so he might have had this situation before. Undeterred, Beth continues to save the deer, but Jerry finds out that the only way they can save the deer is for Beth to admit she can’t save the animal and have it transferred out of the state. Beth is furious at having to say she can’t do the surgery, but agrees. However, Jerry reveals that this was a ruse and he, along with Cold Stone, arrange for Beth to finish the surgery successfully, releasing the deer back into the wild.

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A lawyer walks into a vet’s OR… I forget the punchline.

Back at Schrödinger’s House, all 4 Ricks apologize to each other, when a testicle-headed Fourth Dimensional being named Schleemypants (Keegan-Michael Key) arrives and gives the team collars that re-synchronize the timelines. However, Schleemypants tries to arrest the three for Rick’s possession of a stolen Time Crystal, which Rick admits he IS guilty of. Rick then tricks Schleemypants into looking away and destroys Rick’s gun “Chris.” He then takes the collars off and splits time across 32 different timelines, resulting in him being able to attack Schleemypants from every direction without him being able to respond, due to his 4-D nature. Rick wins, but accidentally splits time again, resulting in them only having a short time to bring the 64 timelines back to 1. All of the versions of Rick fix the collars and Summer’s works immediately. One of the 64 Mortys, however, is not able to close their collar. The floor collapses, so that Morty’s Rick jumps after him into the void and gives his own collar to Morty, saving his life. Rick prepares to die, saying he’s okay with this, but then sees the broken collar, changes his mind, fixes it, and survives.

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He’s a timecop, but not the one you think of when you hear that.

Beth and Jerry, unusually happy thanks to Jerry’s actions earlier, arrive home and start mocking the collars, annoying the three. Meanwhile… or not meanwhile since it’s outside of time, but whatever the equivalent of meanwhile is in that case, Schleemypants is joined by another testicle monster (Jordan Peele) who tries to help him take revenge, but they mistake Albert Einstein (Roiland) for Rick, beat him up, and inspire him to formulate Mass-Energy Equivalence and, implicitly, special relativity as revenge.

END SUMMARY

This is another Rick and Morty episode that demonstrates how efficiently the show can use the transitions between A and B plots, but in a different way than in “Meeseeks and Destroy.” In the former episode, the cuts allowed each plot to skip all the boring stuff and just go to the next interesting thing. In this episode, the cuts serve to heighten the tension between each of the storylines by basically forming a series of cliffhangers. It also makes it less obvious when both stories have sudden left turns, like the entrance of the testicle monster or the hunter’s attorney.

The multiple timeline aspect of the A-plot is unbelievably well done, given that the audience has to be able to watch several things happening at once in order to really get the effect of the structure. By having them mostly synchronized but slightly offset or altered, the viewer is able to follow the differences between the two despite the speed with which some of them are appearing. The overlaid dialogue manages to sound simultaneous while still being discernable independently. That’s impressive.

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I mean, it still can be followed at 64 timelines pretty well.

The fourth-dimensional being who simultaneously interacts with all of the timelines is a brilliant idea, even if it’s very difficult to really conceive of without thinking about it. However, Rick is able to quickly determine what’s happening, despite not being able to see through the fourth dimension, and manages to actually beat him. Since fourth dimensional beings generally are considered almost incomprehensible to three dimensional beings and nearly godlike, this would be akin to a stick figure outsmarting you and beating the hell out of you. It’s tough to envision, but that’s the best thing I can compare it to.

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His “gun” turns you into a fetus, which is a hilarious attack method.

Beth and Jerry’s B-Plot is so ridiculous that it really perfectly balances the seriousness of the A-Plot. It even starts with insanity by revealing that Jerry managed to tip the Cold Stone staff over $400. Actually, this episode really highlights Jerry’s incessant need for approval from others, from his tipping the Cold Stone crew enough to merit them transporting a deer for him to his asking Beth about putting the deer out of its misery despite being unable to do it. However, it equally highlights Beth’s own massive insecurities, represented by her going to unbelievable lengths to save the deer just because people consider a horse surgeon to be incapable of working on cervine. At the end, Jerry plays into Beth’s fantasy, which apparently makes her willing to overlook his flaws more than usual.

Summer and Morty are also dealing with their own insecurities over the future of their relationships with Rick, which Rick responds to not by indulging, but by attempting to devastate and mock, including his famous claim to be able to prove mathematically that both of them are pieces of shit.

JOKER’S THEORY CORNER

It’s no secret that Rick’s appearance is a reference to Doc Brown from Back to the Future. Hell, he originally was Doc in Justin Roiland’s Doc and Mharti. But Doc Brown’s appearance was modeled, at least somewhat, on the image of Albert Einstein. In this episode, we see this come full circle when the fourth-dimensional testicle monsters confuse Einstein with Rick. But what if that’s not an accident?

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Roiland’s art style was… unique

Rick stole a time crystal from somewhere or somewhen, that much is obvious. He immediately shows that he is aware of the fact that this is a crime when confronted. Given that fourth-dimensional creatures by default can find you at any time, I think that Rick has made himself resemble a famous scientist so that, in the event that the testicle monsters are hunting for him, they might end up finding someone else in a different time. After all, hairstyles are one of the things that Ricks are most willing to vary, and Rick used to have different hair, so it makes sense that he might have had a motive for his current “look.”

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Granted, Einstein clearly was more sedentary.

Overall, I give this episode a

B+

on the Rick and Morty scale.

Wubba-Lubba-Dub-Dub, I need a drink. See you in two weeks.

PREVIOUS –  11: Rick-sy Business

NEXT – 13: Mortynight Run

If you want to check out some more by the Joker on the Sofa, check out the 100 Greatest TV Episodes of All Time or the Joker on the Sofa Reviews

If you enjoy these, please, like, share, tell your friends, like the Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/JokerOnTheSofa/), follow on Twitter @JokerOnTheSofa, and just generally give me a little bump. I’m not getting paid, but I like to get feedback.

Greatest Valentine’s Day Episodes

Okay, so, I’m going to die alone, but for those of you who aren’t, here’s a list of some of the best Valentine’s Day episodes of TV. Or, really, just the first 5 episodes I could think of that were good. I didn’t think of this until Monday, so cut me a break.

Runner Up: Galentine’s Day (Parks and Rec)

Why is this a runner up? Because it’s not a V-day episode…  and although most of it takes place at a Valentine’s Dance, it’s mostly about breakups.

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Galentine’s Day is the 13th of February, and it’s a holiday made up by Pawnee, Indiana resident Leslie Knope (Amy Poehler) to celebrate strong, independent women. Leslie’s widowed mother, Marlene (Pamela Reed), a guest at the Galentine’s celebration, tells the story of her first love, a lifeguard she met years before she met Leslie’s father, with whom she had a passionate affair before her parents made her break it off.

ValentinesGalentinesLeslie, with encouragement from Justin (Justin Theroux), a man she’s been dating, goes to find the lifeguard and reunite the lovers after all these years. Unfortunately, while Marlene grew up to be a civic leader, the lifeguard, Frank (John Larroquette), is just a barrel full of problems. He’s immature, unsophisticated, unemployed, and just generally is the worst. Marlene understandably wants nothing to do with him.

This leads Leslie to realize she doesn’t really like Justin. Meanwhile, her co-workers’ relationships are similarly dissolving. Tom (Aziz Ansari) is rejected by his ex-wife. April (Aubrey Plaza) breaks up with her boyfriend and his boyfriend. Ann (Rashida Jones) and Mark (Paul Schneider) are still together, but it’s clear Ann is looking to get out of the relationship… which leads Mark to get out of the show.

Message received: Love is a lie and everyone dies alone. Happy Galentine’s Day!!!

5) Operation Ann (Parks and Rec)

Okay, I had to make it up to Parks and Rec, both for lambasting Galentine’s Day and for not ever finding an episode of the show quite remarkable enough to get onto this list, despite how much I like the show.

Here’s the thing about Parks and Rec: Every single couple at the end of the show is basically perfect.

April and Andy (Aubrey Plaza and Chris Pratt), Leslie and Ben (Amy Poehler and Adam Scott), Ann and Chris (Rashida Jones and Rob Lowe), Tom and Lucy (Aziz Ansari and Natalie Morales), Donna and Joe (Retta and Keegan-Michael Key), Garry and Gayle (Jim O’Heir and Christie Brinkley), Ron and Diane (Nick Offerman and Lucy Lawless), even Craig and Typhoon (Billy Eichner and Rodney To). All of them are amazing. Which is why it’s so great to see where some of these relationships start to develop.

ValentinesBenLeslie.gifThis episode starts with Leslie having her first V-Day with a serious boyfriend, Ben. She makes an overly-elaborate series of puzzles involving multiple riddles that range from “weird” to “punishingly difficult.” Even Leslie admits, at one point, that it’s probably impossible for Ben to actually solve them all. In desperation, Ben asks Ron and Andy for help. Along the way, Ben finds out that Ron actually loves puzzles and riddles, despite his earlier objections to them. In the end, Ron intuits the final solution to Leslie’s riddle, saving Ben.

valentinesanntom.jpgMeanwhile, Leslie asks the office to help find a boyfriend for Ann, who is somehow single despite being sweet, smart, and looking like Rashida Jones (it actually gets explained later that she has some issues). At the same time, Chris, the perpetual optimist, is depressed because he has been dumped by his most recent girlfriend. At the end of the episode, Ann ends up hanging out with Tom, which proves to be a horrible mistake, and Chris realizes that he’s only single because he broke up with Ann for basically no reason aside from location. This leaves both of them in the position to get back together in the future, after they both grow a little bit.

Also, April and Andy are together, and they’re perfect, and I love them.ValentinesAprilAndy.jpg

 4) Anna Howard Shaw Day (30 Rock)

Much like Parks and Rec, even though I love this show it never made it onto the list. Only 2 episodes got nominated, and this is… not one of them, but it’s a natural fit to put it here. Too bad I don’t have a Leap Day list.

Valentines30Rock.jpg30 Rock is a show about putting on an SNL-like show called “TGS with Tracy Jordan,” which is filmed at NBC headquarters located at 30 Rockefeller Plaza.

30 Rock doesn’t have the perfect ending for everyone, but it has a solid happy ending for most of the characters. It also points out that, even if you don’t find love in another person, you can find it in your friends and family.

ValentinesLizLemon.gifAt the beginning of this episode, Liz Lemon (Tina Fey) has set a root canal on Valentine’s Day, which she calls “Anna Howard Shaw Day” after the female civil rights leader born on Feb. 14, but discovers that everyone else has plans and thus she has no one who can drive her home while she’s under anesthesia. At the same time, her boss, Jack Donaghy (Alec Baldwin), meets Avery Jessup (Elizabeth Banks), the ultra-conservative woman of his dreams. Jack tries to woo her, including planning a celebrity party where he invites Jon Bon Jovi (Music Guy), but ends up snubbing him because he’s interested in what she’s saying. Naturally, they bang, and agree to go out again on V-day. On Valentine’s Day, Liz gets her root canal, telling the dental staff that she’ll be fine to go home. On the way out, however, Liz hallucinates that the nurses are her ex-boyfriends, leading the staff to call Jack to help. Jack agrees, but Avery assumes that it’s just an excuse to dump her after they’ve had sex. Jack counters by offering to have her come along, which impresses Avery even more with his kindness. Liz passes out, but at least she knows she has a friend.

At the same time, Jenna Maroney (Jane Krakowski) is depressed because her stalker appears to have lost interest in her. Kenneth the Page (Jack McBrayer) is confused as to why she’s upset that her stalker has moved on, only for Jenna to tell Kenneth that her stalker is her longest relationship. Kenneth proceeds to send her threatening letters to show that he cares.

Basically, this episode reminds us that friendship is a kind of love, too.

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 3) My Funky Valentine (Modern Family)

Modern Family was a show about how there are different, viable models of family structure than just the traditional Nuclear Family. It covered one family in three households.

Household 1 is the Dunphy family. Goofy dad Phil (Ty Burrell), his wife Claire (Julie Bowen), and their kids Haley, Alex, and Luke (Sarah Hyland, Ariel Winter, and Nolan Gould). Household 2 is the Pritchetts: Claire’s dad Jay (Ed O’Neill), his younger, hotter wife Gloria (Sofia Vergara), Gloria’s son Manny (Rico Rodriguez), and their baby Joe (Jeremy McGuire). Household 3 is the Pritchett-Tuckers: Claire’s brother Mitchell (Jesse Tyler Ferguson), his husband Cam (Eric Stonestreet), and their daughter Lily (Aubrey Anderson-Emmons).

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This episode’s main focus is Phil and Claire. Phil has taken Claire to the same restaurant for most of their history together, so this year he decides to rent a hotel and have the two of them roleplay for the evening instead. Phil is Clive, a businessman, and Claire is Julianna, a housewife. As they flirt at the bar, Claire goes to the bathroom and removes all of her clothes, returning wearing just a coat. As they make their way up to the room, however, the coat gets caught in the escalator. Claire cannot get out of the coat withouthaving to run to the room naked, and multiple acquaintances keep showing up… all of whom just tell her to get out of the coat.

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Jay and Gloria go to a comedy club at the same hotel, which is fun until the comedian starts making fun of Jay’s age. They leave and run into Claire… who Gloria quickly helps, having realized the situation immediately, since apparently it had happened to her before. Claire and Phil go to their room… where it’s later revealed Phil screwed up the entire evening somehow by mis-using oil.

Meanwhile, Mitchell is depressed because he broke up his and Cam’s Valentine’s plans due to needing to work on a case, only for the client to settle, preventing Mitchell from delivering the best speech he’d ever written. Manny, who they’re watching while Jay and Gloria are out, is also depressed because he wrote a Valentine’s Day poem for a girl in his class, and another boy took credit for it. Manny and the couple go to the restaurant and confront the boy, with Mitch delivering a version of the speech he’d written. Unfortunately, the girl actually likes the other guy more, so Manny’s still single.

I love this episode because it emphasizes the show’s message of “every couple is different.”

2) Three Valentines (Frasier)

Already wrote this one, not doing it again. Still hilarious.

1) I Love Lisa (The Simpsons)

It probably says a lot that my number one pick is an episode about a girl taking pity on a boy, him taking it the wrong way, her having to break his heart, and them ending up friends… but, that’s for my therapist. Here’s the winner:

This episode is one of the best episodes of the Simpsons, and that’s saying something.

It’s Valentine’s Day in Springfield and Lisa’s class (Yeardley Smith) is giving Valentine’s ValentinesChooChooCards to each other. Unfortunately, Ralph Wiggum (Nancy Cartwright), who is not the brightest kid in the class… nor the most sanitary, doesn’t get a single card. Seeing him heartbroken, Lisa feels pity for him and gives him a card saying “I choo-choo-choose you.” This leads Ralph to fall in love with Lisa, who does not reciprocate. At all. This is made worse when Ralph and Lisa are picked to play George and Martha Washington in the school play.

Ralph’s father, Chief Wiggum (Hank Azaria), gets them tickets to a Krusty the Clown Live show, which Lisa desperately wants to go to. Unfortunately, Krusty starts talking to the audience, leading Ralph to proclaim his love for Lisa on live TV… which Lisa responds to by telling him that “I don’t like you! I never liked you and the only reason I gave you that stupid valentine is because nobody else would!” Bart (Cartwright) later uses a recording of this to show Lisa the exact moment Ralph’s heart rips in half.ValentinesRalph

Ultimately, Lisa tries to apologize to Ralph for being cruel, but Ralph focuses on his role as George Washington, leading him to give a stellar performance and the interest of multiple new women. Lisa finally gives him an apology card with a bee on it, saying “Let’s Bee Friends.”ValentinesBeeFriends

This is an amazing episode, even if it’s a bit heartbreaking, because that’s really just how it is sometimes. The girl you like doesn’t like you back. The thing you thought was caring was just friendship. And that’s okay.