Stowaway: The Coldest Equations… are Massively Contrived – Netflix Review

This movie took everything cool about The Martian and flipped it.


A two-year mission to Mars is launched with a three-person crew: Captain Marina Barnett (Toni Collette), biologist David Kim (Daniel Dae Kim), and medical officer Zoe Levenson (Anna Kendrick). After takeoff, it is discovered that a launch plan engineer, Michael (Shamier Anderson), has been trapped inside of a vent after being knocked unconscious. The three start to bond with their unexpected guest, who is understandably pissed about not seeing his wife or kids for two years. However, it’s determined that Michael’s accident also broke the CDRA, the device that removes Carbon Dioxide from the air, meaning that everyone on board is going to suffocate unless they can find a way around it… or sacrifice someone. 

Guess which one.


This film feels like yet another attempt to adapt the 1954 short story “The Cold Equations.” In the story, a young girl stows away on a rocket to a colony, unaware that her added weight on the ship throws the fuel off so much that, if she stays, the ship won’t be able to land and they’ll kill everyone in the colony. She sacrifices herself after the pilot realizes there isn’t enough time to teach her how to fly. The point of the story is that space is cold and unforgiving and, most of the time, you are subject only to the laws of physics. Since its publication, it’s been mandatory reading for most aeronautical engineers, which has led to so many people proposing solutions and pointing out the ridiculous nature of having such thin margins for error that it’s literally shaped how spaceflight missions are staged. This film, unfortunately, suffers from the fact that space travel has advanced so much since the premise was created that the plot has to keep screwing the crew over to keep it going.

There’s a usually not this much hiding space in these adaptations.

First, they have to miss a literal person being in the ship during inspection. Moreover, during inspection of one of the most crucial elements in the spaceship. That’s a stretch, but sure, let’s say someone’s lunch ran long and they phoned it in. Human error and such. Then, since the movie already concedes that the ship could sustain a fourth person easily (because they put so many spare parts on the ship in case of emergency), they have to have him break the carbon dioxide scrubber in the process so that there’s an actual issue. Also, they can’t have a working spare. Now, if having an issue with a CO2 scrubber sounds familiar, that’s because it was a plot point in the film (and real-life story) Apollo 13, in which Nasa had its engineers figure out how to adapt a CO2 scrubber from spare parts around the ship. It literally was held together by duct tape, but it worked. This film keeps having their solutions fail (mostly because they’re not great solutions) so that they actually have to have the debate over the ethics of sacrificing someone. It constantly feels forced to me, particularly when compared to The Martian or other films where smart people overcome impossible situations.

In real life, they managed to use duck tape, socks, and spare parts to put a square peg in a round hole.

The performances, particularly Anna Kendrick as the lone voice of dissent against sacrificing anyone, are all great, but that really doesn’t change the fact that it’s trying to force a problem into a movie that seems like it shouldn’t have one. Then there’s the pacing, which is extremely slow for a film that seems to be depending on some kind of urgency. The dialogue isn’t bad, but it doesn’t save the long, boring scenes. Cinematography is, admittedly, pretty great, as is the set design, but not anything that takes it beyond other, similar movies.

Beautiful film, but you’ve seen much of this before.

Overall, I just couldn’t get into the film enough to really care about the stakes. I know what they were going for, but I don’t think it worked this way.

If you want to check out some more by the Joker on the Sofa, check out the 100 Greatest TV Episodes of All TimeCollection of TV EpisodesCollection of Movie Reviews, or the Joker on the Sofa Reviews.

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i’m thinking of ending things: Charlie Kaufman Needs to be Tempered – Netflix Review

The acclaimed writer takes his third shot at directing and he probably needs to talk to Spike Jonze again.

SUMMARY (Spoiler-ish)

A young woman (Jessie Buckley) is thinking of breaking up with her boyfriend, Jake (Jesse Plemons), while on a trip to meet his parents (Toni Collette and David Thewlis). Jake is a pseudo-intellectual who constantly attempts to quote poems, but often gets them wrong or incomplete. The same is true of most of his opinions; they’re either ripped off from other sources inaccurately or he fails to fully have them. He seems to have broad knowledge of culture, but it turns out he mostly only knows a few specific things. The young woman tries to introduce herself to Jake’s family, but all of her versions of their relationship seem completely irreconcilable. The young woman’s identity seems to change frequently, as do Jake’s parents. Throughout the movie, we also see an elderly janitor (Guy Boyd) who works at a school in the town near Jake’s parents’ house watching kids practice Oklahoma!

Lots of patterns everywhere.


I can’t really discuss this movie without somehow spoiling it, but I also don’t know that it hurts the experience. Here’s what I can say without spoilers: much like Kaufman’s previous movies he both wrote and directed, Synecdoche, New York and Anomalisa, most of this film is not literal. You’ll pick up on that pretty early when you see the characters change their appearances and names. The truth of what the film is about is only revealed towards the end and is just subtle enough that you might miss it if you’re not paying attention. I’d also advise you to watch through the film because the last thing you hear might change the film a bit. 

The world is cold. Also, it’s snowing.

A lot of this film is enhanced if you happen to know all of the pop culture that is being referenced, but most of it is pretty specific. For example, about five minutes of the movie is dedicated just to a John Cassavetes film and Pauline Kael’s review of it. If you didn’t immediately know who both of those people are, you’re going to probably be a bit confused during that portion. I mean, you can still enjoy it, but it’s distracting. Some stuff like that happens throughout. 

I mean, the other changes can be distracting.

Overall, if you’re a die-hard Kaufman fan, by which I mean you liked his previous directing works, you will probably enjoy this. If you liked Adaptation or Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, this might also be up your alley. Otherwise, this might be a little too much Kaufman. 


So, as the movie reveals, the Janitor is just the older Jake. Having completely failed to do anything that he wanted to do with his life, Jake now spends his days imagining the world in which he was smart, funny, accomplished, and had the girlfriend that his parents always wanted for him. As the movie goes on, we see him imagine progressively more ridiculous things, including winning a Nobel Prize (using the speech from A Beautiful Mind) and performing a song from Oklahoma! By the end, we see that Jake has had a complete mental breakdown and is murdering his own mental image. That’s when the movie’s title, which was apparently about the girl dumping Jake, instead becomes about Jake taking his own life. 

The aesthetics are fun.

The surreal nature of the way this film is done is a reflection of Jake’s broken mind. Like many people, Jake feels that he never got the life that Hollywood and pop culture seemed to promise him. He’s resentful of the gap between what he wants and what he actually gets. However, it becomes clear that he mostly is just an entitled loser. He mimics what he hears rather than thinking for himself and produces nothing, but he still wanted all of the rewards. It’s a very sad tale that is even more sadly relatable to many people nowadays. 

If you want to check out some more by the Joker on the Sofa, check out the 100 Greatest TV Episodes of All TimeCollection of TV EpisodesCollection of Movie Reviews, or the Joker on the Sofa Reviews.

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Knives Out – A Great Take on the WhoDunnit from Start to Finish (Spoiler-Free + Ending Explained)

Rian Johnson manages to create an extremely elaborate, well-crafted, well-paced mystery with a hell of a message.

SUMMARY (Spoiler-Free)

The great mystery writer Harlan Thrombey (Christopher Plummer) is dead, apparently having slit his own throat. Despite the fact that it appears clearly self-inflicted, the great detective Benoit Blanc (Daniel Craig) is hired to investigate the Thrombey household. This includes Harlan’s daughter Linda (Jamie Lee Curtis), her husband Richard (Don Johnson), their son Ransom (Chris Evans), Harlan’s needy youngest son Walt (Michael Shannon), his wife Donna (Riki Lindhome), their Alt-Right son Jacob (Jaeden Martell), Harlan’s flighty widowed daughter-in-law Joni (Toni Collette), and her perpetual student daughter Meg (Katherine Langford). Not on the suspect list is Harlan’s kind and honest nurse Marta (Ana de Armas), one of his closest friends and Benoit Blanc’s new assistants. However, not everything is as it seems, and almost everyone has a motive to have caused Harlan’s untimely demise. It turns out that many members are much more desperate than they appear at first, and when people get desperate, the knives come out.

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Very colorful cast.


I’m a big fan of detective fiction, as evidenced by the tattoo of Sherlock Holmes on my chest. While I was concerned at first that this movie would be a little more of a mystery farce in the vein of Clue (which I also love), I can assure you that while this movie has many funny parts, the film is an extremely well-crafted whodunnit. There are traditionally two kinds of whodunnits: One is the kind where the audience is just as much in the dark as the characters, and one where the audience is told some version of events that the characters aren’t and the deduction is in finding out the missing how. This movie is more akin to the latter, but it’s done in a style that I’ve only seen done well a few times in fiction and never this well in a movie. I don’t want to reveal too much about the structure, but let me say that it simultaneously tells the audience everything they need to know to figure out the mystery from about 25 minutes in, but also paces all the reveals and red herrings so perfectly that you’ll never be 100% sure. Even if you do guess the ending relatively early on, trust me, it’s still just a really well crafted narrative.

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And dear god do I want more of Benoit Blanc. 

Honestly, almost everything in this movie is high-level. The sets, particularly the mansion in which most of the film takes place, are all immaculate. The mansion contains tons of references to Harlan’s fictional bibliography, some of which are identified and others are references to titles shown to the audience. It is also filled with the kind of relics and odd antiques that a mystery mansion is supposed to have. I think one of my favorite elements is that every room has a bar in it, either open or, more often, hidden. It IS a writer’s house, after all; sobriety is for the reader.

Here, the bar is in the model house behind Blanc. 

The characters are all great. Every performance is on point and the personalities are intentionally so diverse that you could guess who said any given line just by the content. Their outfits are so similarly diverse that it really does feel like a Clue board, where you can tell the characters by just a glance. They each have their strange idiosyncrasies which play into the mystery. Also, Chris Evans rocks a sweater. 

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Watching him be a jerk is amazing. 

The structure of the film starts with the Rashomon-style interrogation in which it becomes clear that everyone remembers the night of Harlan’s death a little differently and, while the audience sees more than the characters say, we also get some inconsistencies in the depictions. It works to quickly establish the duplicity of the suspects and also to give the audience some clues to play with. From there, it plays out similar to most detective stories. 

Overall, this is just a great film and I recommend it to everyone.


So, just a reminder: Marta thought she’d overdosed Harlan with morphine. Fearing for her mom’s safety as an illegal immigrant, Harlan killed himself and set up a way to avoid suspicion on Marta. Turns out that she hadn’t overdosed Harlan because Ransom had switched the vials, planning on framing her for killing Harlan. He ends up going to jail and Marta gets all of Harlan’s money.

Watching the last third of the movie was exactly what I was looking for: A great detective breaking everything down dramatically. It’s clear that everything in the movie was setting up for this ultimate and amazing explanation and it pays off. Even though from the beginning we are led to think that Marta is the innocent woman who is being tormented by a completely understandable mistake and circumstances. Sure, the missing Naloxone from the kit stands out as the first hint that something more may be at play, but it’s also completely possible that it was really just a tragic accident. Since we know that Marta is a good person, watching her torment herself over the truth is just as terrible as watching the Thrombey family try to torment her to give them their money back. That doubles the satisfaction when it’s revealed that not only was it not her fault, but that she was in fact an unwitting victim.

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This plays into a big theme in the movie that I really like: The power of kindness. Benoit Blanc points it out himself when he says that Marta ends up winning not by playing Harlan’s game or by playing the Thrombey’s game, but by playing her game and being a kind and honest person. She is saved because she works so hard to save Fran (Edi Patterson) even though it means her own end, allowing her to make the final gambit against Ransom and getting him to confess. The movie makes it clear that the thing that sets her apart is that she is caring, she is genuine, and she is selfless. When Meg, a seemingly honest person, betrays Marta, Marta not only says she’s going to help Meg, but forgives her instantly, understanding her position. The movie even drives home that basically no one in the family can comprehend Harlan’s lesson to them and it’s not just that Marla is kinder than they are, it’s that she is actually the American dream like Harlan was. 

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I love that the angle on the weapon display is never quite framed right except at the end.

Harlan makes a large point out of being self-made, as do his children. The problem is that none of the children are actually self-made. Linda, Harlan’s favorite, does at least run her own company and thus is not really being cut off, but she only has the company because Harlan loaned her Eight Million Dollars that she used to found it. Joni doesn’t really work and has just been stealing from Harlan using Meg as a cover. Even after Harlan gives her enough money to pay for the rest of Meg’s college, she lies and tells Meg that she can’t pay for it so that Meg will betray Marta. Walt basically only has anything because his father allows him to publish his books and even that’s not enough for him. At the end of the movie, Marta, who had nothing, became an expert nurse and Go player, and is the daughter of an illegal immigrant, has everything. She’s literally above them all on the balcony.

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The one who takes it best is also the one who fought Michael Myers. 

I do also want to comment, possibly to my own detriment, on the fact that Rian Johnson gave all of the Thrombeys wildly different political views and personalities. When they’re comfortable, they fight over politics and philosophies, ranging from Richard’s casual racism to Joni’s Liberalism to Jacob’s very direct racism, we’re still shown that they’re all fairly equally dismissive of Marta, just using her as an example to back their side when convenient (and none of them bother to know which country her family is from). However, once the money is threatened, they’re all united on one point: Get the money back. They all come up with different justifications for why they deserve the money, but despite the fact that they’ve all been earning much more than 99% of the world for the last few decades, all of them believe they’re entitled to more. It’s a not-so-subtle commentary, indicating that the wealthy will always want more. Marta, like Harlan, is more likely to be generous because they were poor once and value having things more. Ultimately, while the movie shows the Thrombeys fighting over politics as a “liberal versus conservative” battle, the final and more honest struggle is between the exploiters and the exploited. It’s a pretty solid theme to sneak into a mystery film.

If you want to check out some more by the Joker on the Sofa, check out the 100 Greatest TV Episodes of All TimeCollection of TV EpisodesCollection of Movie Reviews, or the Joker on the Sofa Reviews.

If you enjoy these, please, like, share, tell your friends, like the Facebook page (, follow on Twitter @JokerOnTheSofa, and just generally give me a little bump. I’m not getting paid, but I like to get feedback.